To Struggle

Some words I shared with Bridger for her Bat/Be Mitzvah last weekend:

Bridge — Mazel tov and congrats on your Be Mitzvah! You did a really beautiful job. I especially loved hearing you talk about your Torah portion. It’s almost as if I was meant for you.

Just to recap — Miriam, after crossing the Red Sea with her people, rather than dwelling on their suffering and hardship, decides to flip the script and start a party. She picks up a hand drum and starts dancing. Soon, others follow her lead and it’s a celebration.

This is an important reminder that we all do hard things in our lives that shape how and who we are.

Sometimes we have to do really hard things because we don’t have a choice. Our ability to gracefully navigate these difficult waters where stopping isn’t an option depends largely on our mindset, and just being able to put one foot in front of the other. To keep moving. 

Other times, we decide to do really hard things voluntarily. In a way, these can be even harder because the option to stop is right there. We’re in control, and can just say, “I’m not really up for being uncomfortable today” and go do something easier. Or do nothing at all. 

Both of these kinds of struggle, whether voluntary or involuntary, teach us about ourselves. We get to access deep, unknown parts of our character, expanding the limits of what we can do and how we show up for ourselves, and for others. 

To struggle and be uncomfortable and tired and anxious and scared is a gift. It’s an opportunity for growth, filled with potential. 

Bridger — one of your strongest traits, and one of the things I love most about you — is that you already know and embrace this.

Hard things don’t scare you, because you see them as opportunities for laughter and learning and growth. You seek them out, knowing that in some way you’ll be better for it on the other side. 

So.

I actually look forward to watching you struggle up and over the many mountains that your life will bring.

I also look forward to seeing you dance gracefully on those windy summits, your infectious laugh echoing down into the surrounding valleys, radiating joy and positivity and potential to those around you.

I love you.